“Lower Your Eyelids To Die With The Sun”-M83

A little while ago Nika and I were driving around after adventuring to Dunkin’ for iced coffee and we started blasting M83 because it always reminds us of summer. Something about this song in particular just really hit me and made me feel. As I sat in the passenger seat I tried as hard as I could to not start crying because honestly, this song made me realize things that I’ve just been trying to ignore. We drove up past the turf fields and the city lights shimmered in the distance and the song grew and everything in my mind and heart felt like it was flooding to the surface. I do my best to be strong, but sometimes I just need to cry and let myself feel sad. I don’t know what I’m doing right now. I’m making impulsive decisions and doing things I would normally never do. What am I doing? Where am I going? Life is this giant confusing mass of scribbles and circles and lines that meet and separate and lines that meet and drift apart and come back together and lines that  run around other lines and lines that are not lines at all. I am confused. I am a mess. I don’t know anything.